CROMWELL - Spring is finally here, which is a welcome relief for many, as the cold winter seemed to go on forever.

       Maybe I am getting old, but the cold and snow no longer agree with me like they did in my younger days. The kids being cooped up inside the house over this stretch did not make the winter go any faster, either. Early spring’s forecast is often a tease, as the temperature fluctuates up and down and the threat of snow still exists. Still, the warmer weather brings about the spring youth athletic season and leagues across the state ratchet up and prepare and plan their teams, fields, coaching staffs and game schedules.

       All across the country, fields will soon be full of kids playing baseball, softball, lacrosse and soccer. My own son plays soccer and hockey, both of which I coach. We finally just completed our seven-month long hockey season and it will be a welcome change to be coaching outside in the sunshine and fresh air.

       For the most part, youth athletics is a very positive experience for many kids, parents and coaches. The main goal for every coach, in my opinion, should be for the kids to have fun and learn to work hard and be part of a team.

       Occasionally there are some bad coaches out there who only care about results and less about player development and teamwork. I am as competitive as the next guy and I always encourage my kids to play to win, but when we do lose I try to reassure the kids that losing happens to everyone. If anything, we learn more from losing, as the kids have to deal with adversity and pick themselves up and refocus. These early childhood lessons contribute to a child’s coping skill set and helps prepare them for a competitive world in which wins and losses happen on a daily basis, either in their academic and social lives, or, eventually, their professional careers.

       Every so often I run into a coach who hates to lose and belittles players and speaks inappropriately to young kids after a loss. This should not be tolerated, by any stretch, from any league or organization. There is a big difference between yelling encouragement from the sidelines and screaming at players in a negative and condescending way. Kids react differently to various coaching styles and it is up to the coach to adapt his/her style, depending on the player’s temperament.

       Hey, I will be the first to admit that I can be tough and demanding on players at times, most notably my own son. There have been times when emotions have run high during games and I lost my cool with him when I thought he was not working hard enough. Nobody is perfect and coaches are human, too, so the occasional lapse should be expected and tolerated. As coaches, we need to learn to control our emotions, but let’s face it, athletics can be an emotional environment from all sides.

       A good rule of thumb to follow is what is called the 24-hour rule. If you ever feel angry or emotional about your kid or a coach, wait 24 hours before commenting on it. That 24-hour period will allow a parent time to cool off and reflect on their emotions and then they can address their concern constructively and in a positive manner. It’s tough to do, but works very well.

       Coaching is not an easy thing to do, as it requires a large amount of time and patience. Additionally, it is very important for a coach to instill discipline and let the kids know who is in charge from the outset. Without some semblance of order, there will be no fun--the kids will be fooling around and not paying attention and they will not learn. When they do not learn, they do not improve and the game becomes increasingly difficult and less fun for them.

       Leagues these days are doing a great job of providing educational opportunities for their coaches through certification programs or clinics. Not only do many of these courses train a coach about the tactical aspects of the game, but many of these programs focus on the political and social facets of the position, such as effectively communicating with parents and players. Of course, the lessons taught in these seminars need to be adopted and occasionally I see coaches who choose to ignore what they are taught.

       In general, parents of players typically end up being the initial coaches within local town sports programs, especially at the younger levels, and I think this is great. Some towns have clubs that actually recruit and pay coaches of their travel teams, but that is generally not the norm.

       So, as the weather gets warmer and the doldrums of winter subtlety fade into a distant memory, we parents should all just relax and enjoy watching our kids on the playing fields this spring. This is a wholesome, yet fleeting, time in their young lives. The kids will only be young once and, as parents, we need to support and encourage our children in a positive and uplifting manner.

       I understand it can be frustrating at times watching our kids not perform to our expectations, but as parents we have to try to keep cool and love them unconditionally, no matter the results. Over the long haul, most of the kids won’t remember the games or the final scores, but the friends they made and the fun that they had being a part of a team.

       Coaches also need to keep things in perspective, as well. There will be highs and lows during a season. It is important not to get overly concerned with results, especially at the younger levels.

       Youth recreation and travel sports is a competitive environment and we as coaches and parents all want our teams to be successful. However, the ultimate goal should be to promote a fun atmosphere and provide the kids a healthy environment to improve their skills and develop of love for playing the game. If that happens, you have done a service to the child and your community and it can be a tremendously rewarding experience.