Parent Behavior at Sporting Events Must Improve
MIDDLETOWN - As a coach for many years of youth athletics and also watching my kids on the sidelines, I understand first-hand how emotional we, as parents, can feel. After all, playing sports is generally the first time in our children’s lives when we allow them to compete in the real world against other kids.

       The lack of control we have on their success or failure can be overwhelming for many. Most parents have the best of intentions when they sign their kid up, as they want their children to have fun, get some exercise and learn to be a part of a team. Being involved in youth sports provides this experience and much more. It can teach life lessons, such as learning to deal with adversity, and also help to develop skills to manage successes and failures, which as adults we all battle in life on a daily basis. These valuable abilities acquired through years of experience will serve to mold our children into problem solvers and good citizens when they get older.

       Unfortunately many parents are not serving as good role models for their kids. Instead they are behaving like complete lunatics in the stands or on the sidelines. Over the past few years across numerous sports, I have seen parents curse at referees, yell derogatory comments at opposing children, scream at coaches and even threaten other parents with physical violence.

       So, in full disclosure, I do have a confession to make--I was at my son’s hockey tournament recently and found myself getting swept up into the madness, to my own bewilderment. I yelled at a referee and I even yelled at the opposing parents who were telling their kids to â€"punch our kids in the face.” After the game I thought deep and hard and wondered how this could happen, as I am generally a reasonable person. The answer is simple: I am a parent but also human with emotions, especially when my own child is involved. I swore to myself going forward that I will always strive to take the high road and not get swept up in the negativity ever again. This is youth athletics, after all, and it’s supposed to be fun.

       We as parents have to understand that we can cheer on our kids from the sidelines with full vigor but should let the referees officiate and the coaches coach. We need to ignore any fanatical comments by the opposing parents and always try to take the high road. If you have an issue with your coach, a good general rule of thumb is to wait 24 hours after the game has concluded to talk about it one-on-one. This will allow and a full night’s rest so the emotions can settle down and you can talk with a clear head and not make an irrational statement you could regret.

       Listen, I am as emotional as they come when my children are involved. I have coached all four of my children and, at times, can be tough and demanding on them. Yet I have learned when to back off and always try to remain positive in the long run. After all, I am my child’s role model and while it is important to stress hard work and teamwork, it is just as important to preach sportsmanship and humility when they lose or perform poorly. Before they step on the field, I always tell my kids to play hard and have fun. Having fun is what youth sports is all about after all.

       As is true in life, wins and losses come and go but the relationships we have with our kids will endure, and that is the most important part of the whole experience. I really just enjoy being with and around my children and coaching or attending their games.

       It might sound crazy, but I love the long car rides in the middle of the winter to hockey rinks in remote locations of Connecticut or even out of state. It is always exciting to travel for a weekend tournament and stay overnight at a hotel. The kids love it and remember swimming in the hotel pool and what they had for dinner more than the games themselves and that’s fine by me. I love to see all the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins come out and show support at soccer or softball games and it is nice going out to eat afterwards as a family. This is all that is good with youth sports and we as parents need to keep all the politics and craziness away from our kids as much as possible.

       Youth athletics is a fantastic experience in our children’s lives that they should always look back on fondly. Yes, sometimes parents can be guilty of living vicariously through their kids by wanting them to have success. Yet if the aspirations for our kids ends up turning us into complete raving lunatics on the sideline, then we need to re-examine our priorities.

       Hey, I am the first to admit that watching my kids play gives me a plethora of emotions, ranging from elation when they have success to disappointment when they don’t give effort. The important thing we all need to remember is that just like us, they will have their good days and bad and that we need to provide unconditional love and support no matter what their performance. This will make their athletic experience so much more fulfilling when all is said and done.

       Sports is emotional and I know it can sometimes be tough during the heat of the moment, be we as parents need to behave in the stands and on the sidelines with restraint and respect towards everyone involved. This will provide all the kids the proper role models that they should emulate throughout their adolescent and adult lives.
MORE MIDDLETOWN NEWS  |  STORY BY CHRIS ROVETTI  |  Feb 04 2015  |  COMMENTS?